A Very Brady Child's Play
by Jemascola
Summary: Feeling lonely, Jan gets a Good Guys doll, but the Bradyverse soon descends into chaos.


**A Very Brady Child's Play**

_**By Joe**_

**Summary:** Feeling lonely, Jan gets a Good Guys doll, but the Bradyverse soon descends into chaos.

**Author Notes:** I do not own _The Brady Bunch_ or the _Child's Play_ series, their characters, or any other copyrighted material. I wrote this solely for entertainment purposes and not to make a profit.

**Chapter 1**

Autumn had arrived, and most of the Brady kids were spending one cool Saturday afternoon outside their Santa Monica home. Greg and Peter were in the backyard tossing a football back and forth, and Marcia, Bobby, and Cindy were in the front yard putting up Halloween decorations and raking leaves off the AstroTurf lawn. As one would expect, the five kids were quite noisy as they went about their activities – with the older boys shouting as they played football and the younger kids screaming as they jumped into the piles of leaves. But one Brady child was quietly sulking inside on her family room sofa: Jan.

The blonde-haired fourteen-year-old had struggled with middle child syndrome for a good chunk of her life. One of her sisters, Marcia, was older than her by only two years, yet she had far more trophies, certificates, ribbons, and other honors than Jan ever dreamt of having. She made straight "A"s and was quite popular – being a member of a few school clubs – and even briefly being a member of the snooty Westdale Boosters as a freshman. Not surprisingly, Marcia had also gone on many dates. While Marcia was graced with smooth golden locks, Jan's own hair was stringy and unkempt, and she felt that her freckles and glasses didn't help her appearance, either. She couldn't remember the last time she had a real boyfriend. And of course, since Marcia was older, she had more privileges than Jan – like a driver's license, bigger allowance, and later curfew.

Although Jan's frustration stemmed primarily from her envy of Marcia, she felt even more worthless because of her other sister, Cindy. At age eleven, she was the youngest member of the whole family – and had generally been seen as the cutest and most adorable of the kids. Though she now let her blonde hair down, for many years, she had pigtails, which many people found to be adorable in particular. Unlike Marcia, even though Cindy didn't have the privileges of being older, she had the privileges of being younger – being showered with gifts and attention.

Sandwiched between perfect Marcia and adorable Cindy, Jan was just the ordinary, awkward middle child. She wasn't as pretty or talented as Marcia, and she wasn't as adorable as Cindy. No wonder it seemed that nobody paid her any attention. What was so special about her? Why would anyone want to be her friend?

On this day, Jan was feeling especially melancholic because she had learned the previous day that both Greg and Marcia had dates for the weekend, while Peter, Bobby, and Cindy had activities planned with their friends. Although this wasn't the first time, it had been several weeks since Jan's siblings all had social activities planned for one weekend. It had been the better part of a year since Jan spent the weekend with any friends, and the last time was only for a school project. It was bad enough that Jan had trouble making friends of her own, but to make matters worse, her siblings had their own lives, so she couldn't spend any quality time even with them. Upon thinking this, Jan's lips quivered, and tears welled up in her eyes. She then squealed, buried her face in her hands, and sobbed hysterically – feeling streams of warm tears running down her face and all over her hands.

Jan had been sitting in the family room for over two hours. She had the TV turned on and had tried to forget her troubles by watching something, but her melancholy kept distracting her. The TV had been essentially background noise for most of the time that Jan had been sitting on the sofa. But when Jan calmed down and stopped crying after a few minutes, she took a deep breath, rubbed her eyes, and decided to try to focus on watching TV. At this point, the credits were rolling for some unknown show, so Jan decided to get up and snag a glass of orange juice before the next show came on.

Just before Jan got up, she got a glance of an auburn-haired doll in a commercial and immediately focused on the fuzzy TV screen. "You may remember Good Guys dolls," a male voice started, "the battery-operated, animatronic toys made by Play Pals. Well, times have changed since the first Good Guys came off the assembly line, and we of Kaslan Corporation believe that, as the successor to Play Pals, our toys should reflect the change of times." The screen then changed to a shot of a similar-looking doll with a more chiseled face. "That is why we of Kaslan are introducing the Buddi – a redesign of the original Good Guys doll." On the TV, shots appear of a Buddi doll turning on a flat-screen TV, playing with kids on a sofa, and adjusting a thermostat. "Buddi, your new best friend, connects to and controls all your Kaslan products and smart home devices. Buddi comes with a cloud-backed voice recognition engine and can comprehend inflection, tonality and subtle variations in the human voice. He learns both from human interaction and via its sensors and cameras, which provide detailed realtime information about its environment." Jan's eyes remained transfixed on the TV as a static image of a Buddi doll appeared. "So what are you waiting for? Order your Buddi now. After all, he wants _**you**_ for a best friend." Then, a different male voice mumbled, "Smartphone required for lifelike functionality."

Jan snapped out of her hypnosis when a commercial for a drone came on. She looked around the room and took notice of the sunny weather through the sliding glass doors. It was still afternoon, she realized.

Having come back to reality, Jan placed her head on her right hand and started thinking. She had seen that Buddi commercial for the past two weeks, and she found it rather fascinating. It seemed high-tech and really lifelike. Jan had "toyed" with the idea of getting a Buddi as her friend – seeing as how she didn't have any normal, close human friends – and not even her siblings spent much time with her. Considering how sad Jan felt at the moment, she was now seriously considering getting a Buddi. The prospect of having a lifelike doll was exciting to Jan, but she felt dismayed upon remembering that the Buddi wouldn't act lifelike without a smartphone. Nobody in the household had a smartphone…whatever those were. Jan sunk back into the sofa and sighed in despair. After staring at the ceiling for about a minute, Jan finally got up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice.

As Jan poured herself some orange juice, Cindy and her twelve-year-old, brown-haired counterpart, Bobby, entered the kitchen. Jan looked up – hoping that they might say something to her.

"Hey, Jan…" Bobby started.

"Yes?" Jan asked in curiosity – hoping that Bobby and Cindy might invite her to spend time with them.

"Do you know where Alice is?" Bobby asked – referring to the Bradys' live-in maid. "Cindy and I are looking for a big black widow decoration, and we think Alice may know where it is."

Jan sunk a little at the question. Cindy then replied, "You mean _**you're**_ looking for it. That spider makes me and Kitty Karry-All really scared."

As if on cue, Alice, a middle-aged woman with her graying hair in a bun, wearing a blue dress and white apron, entered the kitchen from her bedroom behind the oven. "Did somebody call?" Alice asked.

"Alice, do you know where that really big black widow decoration is?" Bobby asked.

"It's in a big, white box in the garage," Alice said. "Thank goodness it's just a decoration, but still, keep that thing away from me! It gives me the creeps!"

"That's what I said!" Cindy agreed.

In the midst of this conversation, Jan had been staring at Cindy's doll: Kitty Karry-All. It was an ordinary, lifeless doll, but as she recalled, the original Good Guys dolls were animatronic, and as far as she knew, they didn't require smartphones to be lifelike. Jan didn't know exactly how lifelike Good Guys were, but she imagined that they were certainly more lifelike than Cindy's Kitty Karry-All. A smile crept across Jan's face as she realized that she very well might be able to have her own robotic friend after all. She had an idea.

Leaving the kitchen without saying another word to Alice, Bobby, or Cindy, Jan took her orange juice into the living room, up the stairs, and into the bedroom that she shared with Marcia and Cindy. She closed the door and sat at a desk shared by the sisters. Jan then grabbed a binder from her backpack, which was lying against the desk. Jan then took out a paper advertisement for the Buddi doll – as well as a sheet of notebook paper. Jan then grabbed a black ink pen, briefly looked at the advertisement, and started writing a letter.

* * *

Dear Kaslan Corporation,

My name is Jan Brady, and I have seen your ads on TV and in the newspaper for your Buddi dolls. They look really far out, but I am especially interested in the Good Guys dolls that you mentioned in the beginning of your TV commercials. I was wondering if you had any for sale. If so, I am willing to buy one. Please respond to my letter.

Thank you,

Jan Brady

* * *

Once finished writing her letter, Jan placed it in an envelope that she fetched from one of the desk drawers. Jan addressed the envelope to the address Kaslan Corporation had listed on the paper advertisement. After putting a stamp on the envelope, Jan smiled a little, got up, and headed downstairs. She then exited through the front double doors and approached Marcia, who was still raking leaves.

"Hey, Marcia, has the mail come yet?" Jan asked.

"I don't think so," Marcia said.

"Good," Jan said. She then walked to the mailbox and placed her letter inside. Jan then walked back into the house and sat on the sofa again. Right now, _The Twilight Zone_ was on TV, and the episode was about the doll Talky Tina. Jan sighed. She hoped that Kaslan Corporation would sell her a Good Guys doll, but she didn't want to keep her hopes up. Whatever the case, she felt there was no point in worrying about it now – and spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV.


End file.
